Thursday, May 7, 2009

Eminem "Relapse" Album Review























It's been five years since Eminem dropped his last lp "Encore", which was at most... meh. His most recent venture "Relapse" found it's way into my ipod today. Here's my review:

"Dr. West (Intro)" - Great intro. Scenario is of Marshall getting "great" advice upon his rehab release from his therapist. Sets up the next song lovely.

"3am" - The sequencing between the last track and this is perfect. I like this here better after I watched the video. Did Dre produce this? Only because I'm not mad at the production. At all. Plus, I'm digging the "Silence of the Lambs" reference. The horns, the keys, that dramatic foreboding tone is all there. Classic Em and Dre (?).

"My Mom" - Nigga, you ain't resolve any of those effin' issues with your moms yet? Em shares with us how effd up his childhood was and how he claims his moms introduced Valium and all other types of shit to him through his food. Marshall, for real, work that shit out or kill her already. This topic is as tired as it is listening to 40 year Jay still rapping about moving weight. Don't get me wrong, the song is somewhat decent, it's just we've been there and done done that already. No typo. Several times. I am firmly convinced that I don't ever wanna hear another song about Eminem's mom ever ever ever again.

"Insane" - Whoah!!! Em's rapping about how he was forced to suck on his uncle when he was a lil' kid? TMI!!! Anyways, this gem is laced with a tired ass sounding Dr. Dre(?) track. On the 2nd and 3rd verses, Em 's flow suddenly sounds like he's B-Real of Cyprus Hills fame. Meh.

"Bagpipes From Baghdad" - This is dope. If it were 1999 again. For 2009, not so much. Oh, he's dissing Mariah again? Why? Plus some shots at Nick Cannon. Dayum. Production sounds like an old Dr. Dre track. But not in a good way. Ah man. I don't think I'm liking where this album is going.

"Hello" - A really meh song trying really really hard to be a meh strip club banger. It succeeds in doing so.

"Tonya" - Another meh song about Em as a serial killer stalking Tanya, Lindsay and Britney. Poor them. Poor me too. There is absolutely zero amount of connect going on between this song and me.

"We Made You" -... fast forward to the next song. And quick!

"Medicine Ball" - Pretty good song, disgusting visuals though. And not that good to steer this cd from the train wreck that I'm foreseeing in the near future. Oh yeah, he fires some more shots at Christopher Reeves, whose been dead for years. What's the point?

"Paul (skit)" - Yet another skit with Em's manager Paul Rosenberg complaining about Em's choice of content and subject matter. He's also telling Em that Christopher Reeves has been dead for years. I'm wondering was he also complaining to Em about how shitty this album is sounding.

"Stay Wide Awake" - Great, another song about murder, and with buzzaws. ZZZZZZZZZ and meh.

"Old Times Sake feat. Dr. Dre" Uhm......................................

You know what? I'm a grown ass man with four kids, a mortgage, a beautiful wife who is wishing I spent less time on the keyboards, a close family member whose facing a potential life threatening disease and all other types of real life issues to deal with. FUCKOUTTA HERE! I'm not going through with the rest of this effin album. Not without getting paid. FUCK THAT. I have better shit to get into, and I deserve way better than this. And so do you. Stay away from this bitch!

On the strength of what I've heard and as extra credit for Eminem successfully undergoing a successful rehab, "Relapse" gets a 2 salutes out of 5 Combat Jack salutes.









FUCKOUTTA HERE!

45 comments:

  1. cosigning this review early...........i can't feel ems new cadence.....who said that was hot...........now i see he's forcing it a lil........don't get m wrong ems a beast wit the wordplay....it just aint sounding natural no moe

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  2. Wait, Ross and Roth got higher reviews?

    Somethng is seriously wrong here.

    This album is very much like the Slim SHady LP and if you didn't like that then you might not like this either. Personally, I'll give it a 4 out of 5.

    You just have to be in the mood for it.

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  3. Yo, you so right. i thought the last album was garbage. Tell Dre get that blonde outta here, go work on Gwen Stefani in Interscope.his blonde is DONE and dont come back with another record.

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  4. Arrrgh, my DL link doesn't work!

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  5. Cosign nosa101.

    Review of Combat Jack's blog lately: 1 star. Seriously, look at this month's posts, Cool Kids, Lupe Fiasco's sneakers... The only good thing was "T's" stories...

    Sorry dude, I'm unsubscribing from this blog. Like you said "I have better shit to get into, and I deserve way better than this."

    Stick to bodying those lattes!

    One.

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  6. Maybe Proof really was the only one who gave Em honest advice on his shit...

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  7. Grendel said...
    Maybe Proof really was the only one who gave Em honest advice on his shit...

    I SAID THIS ON NAHRIGHT

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  8. Haha you made it one song further than I did. Except I didn't listen to half of them long enough to know what they were about

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  9. Combat Jack You have a lot of history in the game. That's why I knew you would one day have to write a blog. I love your blog, but could you break down the history of Pac? Why people claim Pac is a studio gangster and try to rewrite history by denying his talent?(loaded question, I know.)

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  10. No Doubt Em lost me years ago. I agree enough about your Mother we already know she eff'd your life up. I'm waiting for Detox

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  11. Is it me, or does Em sound like he was listening to R.A.'s first album? R.A. had a song called "Bloody Axe" and that was crazy...back in 94.
    I'm disappointed too. Tracks are too slow, and nothing to talk about. Dr. Dre had his moments on there with heat. But overall,...........

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  12. BTW, I think Jive can release R.A.'s first album now and capitalize off this shit!

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  13. You can make alot of enemies going against the new elvis like this combat jack. With that said I agree with you 100%. He will sell the most albums since lil wayne last year but thats only because he is the new elvis.

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  14. Why in every goddam interview with Em is he super-weird, trying to be extra-goofy and over the top? Is he that insecure? Dog, you are 36 years old! Time to take a step back and get a little bit of your grown-man on.

    Enough with the BS. I'm with you CJ...Fuck this!

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  15. cosign nosa101. i understand where you're coming from CJ but honestly, this is an eminem album... i dont know why you seemed to expect anything different...

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  16. I wrote this on a friend's wall this morning,

    "So, you know how I'm always like an artist's first album is usually the best thing they put out and it can't be replicated? I think Eminem just rubbished that claim. Relapse might not be as good as The Slim Shady LP or The Marshall Mathers LP, but it's definitely in the same vein. It's like ridiculously identical and all that good stuff. I think the unfortunate thing here is that we are about 10 years removed from those albums that no one will appreciate Relapse. I've already seen one review and the guy basically shits on the album. He's like all the murder and mom talk is boring, but isn't that the reason Eminem is awesome in the first place.

    I think most people have this image of him as the God MC without ever actually listening to the albums. Eminem doesn't stray too far from senselessness and that has always been his shtick. To suddenly decide that it isn't cutting is a bunch of bullshit.

    Casual listeners of his music are probably going to be mightil turned off. And as a result of the rise of blogs and all other media, those casual listeners are going to get a forum to air opinions on an album they don't understand. It's like me reviewing a country album. WHat the hell do I know about Country?


    Long story short: Relapse is an album that will only be appreciated by a true Eminem fan.

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  17. Co-sign nosa101 CJ. This is a typical Em album. There is nothing new of different. If your a real Em fan you will enjoy it. I will admit I was expecting more and maybe he will deliver with Relapse 2. I will say this though, Eminem will body anyone rapping today. I've listened to the record about 4 times. Em's lyrical ability is far beyond anyone in the game. The crazy thing is part is that I think he's getting nicer. I could do without the Accent but the wordplay is the best.

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  18. some rappers just dont know when to hang up the mic...

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  19. You guys are all slow. One ear out the other ear. You know its a good album when you don't understand everything the first time. go back take a real hear

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  20. I love this review, lol. I had about the same reaction after the download. It's the same music he made 10 years ago but a lot more stale.

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  21. roffle at your stopping the review

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  22. Your review is sillier than the album. What the hell do you expect from an Eminem album?

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  23. If it sounds like the music that he made 10 years ago then thats more than anybody could ever ask for. Those albums 10 years back were some of the best rap albums of all time and other than maybe Elzhi I haven't heard anybody in the last 5 years even in the same league as Eminem. These reviews are probably from the same people that think Lil Wayne is any good.

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  24. I hope your family member dies , you are an idiot,and I want the 30 seconds of my life back it took reading this shit. Your opinions matter as much as the dump I took this morning. You probably listen to john mayer and maroon 5. You are the complete definition of douche-bag.

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  25. Combat Jack is just angry a white man is better at rap

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  26. Much like Jay who is the hustlers poster child but has no more business rapping about hustlin' I feel Em's just a fish outta a water. I agree with Combat Jack. Slapping the shit outta woman and poppin' pills is all fun and games when your 19, but when your over 30...not so much.

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  27. Eminem has fallen off. The whole "Relapse" theme of revisiting the slim shady character comes off as forced and a cheap way to recycle his old schtick.

    The repetitive "shock" lyrics smell like desperation, especially from a 36 year old rapper.

    Good review.

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  28. I can already tell all of you are going to like Relapse 2 better then the first Relapse as its supposed to occur along the path of the storyline of the first as once he's gotten past most of his problems and realized to just be yourself and the Shady character is gone. So he'll be rapping about the life of Marshall Mathers/Eminem with that content and style.

    That is the reason for the 2 albums in a year. So people could get the continued storyline as he relapses back to Shady and then gets through it and becomes Marshall again. I love Shady so I probably will like this album better but both should be great.

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  29. Competely agree with this review. In fact, I think you're being a little kind. Wanted another Marshall Mathers album, and got this bullshit!!!

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  30. fuck you haters and fags. You know shit bout real talent. Eminem is a lyrical acrobat @ work again, accompanied by Dr. Dre's sick beats. Fucking shit ass review.

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  31. So what if the album is dark, it fits the fucking theme of pills and drugs and shit and going insane. It's a brilliant concept album. FUCK you, you're fuckin' review is shit. Rolling Stones gave this Eminem Relapse a 4 out of 5. FUCK YOU!!! You motherfucker. Yeah, I'm an Eminem fan, but I know good music when I hear it. FUCK you. I'm no fuckin' Stan, I thought Encore was a shitty album, but FUCK YOU for giving this album a fucking 2 salutes shit only. FUCK YOU. I don't think you can pull of crazy ass, off the wall lyrics like Em. FUCK YOU. Whoever wrote this review is a piece of fucked up shit who knows shit about hip hop music. FUCK YOU. Rick Ross is fucking wannabe rapper, who speaks as if reading off some sheet. Rick Ross will have his ass handed to him on a platter by Em in no time. FUCK YOU, you're fuck ass fucking motherfucking shit ass fucked up shitty crap and gay review. You're a fuckin' homo who should suck you're own dick, you cunt fuckin' reviewer. Em has talent and you (you prick reviewer) should go fuck yourself, you motherfucking faggot. FUCK YOU. GO 2 HELL, you bitch! Go suck your own dick and fuck off youself, you fuckin shithead!!!! FUCK YOU, bitchass fag! Don't even know what real hip hop is about, Eminem is the real deal, so is Tupac and Lil Wayne. FUCK YOU!! You (the fucked up reviewer) is a motherfucking bitch who sleeps in his parent's basement and fucks himself and the bed 1000000 times every fuckin' nite!! FUCK YOU, go burn in hell, you motherfucker!!!

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  32. @Zach @bob @anon<===== This exactly what most eminem fans are crazy fucked up people. Look everyone here knows em can rap, my thing is he's not bringing anything different to the table. I'm not asking him to do some bull shit auto-tune swizz beat produce song but, why does your whole cd sound like it was made in 2001? Combat Jack is spot on with this one sorry STANS.

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  33. Take a second listen and really LISTEN the next time around.

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  34. Combat newJACK Im not a huge eminem fan and thought he was done after encore 2 but your obviously just being a hater and dont like eminem for some reason beside rap skills dude you failed 2 mention probally the 2 best tracks on the cd deja vu ,and beautiful Why? Em's Lyrics, flow and storytelling in my mom are insane yea alot of subjects are recyclled on this album but regardless his rhymes/rhyme structure are fucking insane. and for real u dont feel old time sakes? Ive been fiending 2 hear dre rap like that again shit was hot maybe if your gettin 2 grown and have 4 kids a wife and a friend in the hospital maybe you shouldnt listen to rap anymore and pick up a Celine dion cd or some shit because u obviously have lost touch with rap good rap music 2/5? for real what did u give lil wayne? Stop being a hater Combat WACK

    any one who likes good rap check out joell ortiz 125GRAMS part 6 youtube Destorys any rapper lyrically

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  35. Eminem stans are f*ckin hilarious reminds me of beyonce stans who goes off everytime someone say anything slightly bad about her... come on dudes you know this latest stuff aint close to the real Eminem , and to dude who said Em is the real deal like lil wayne and tupac ...ha ha w t f homeboy dont write stuff like that on a site like this people might think you're serious ... Em was good but lost it just accept it, he probably comes back way better and inspired the next album. looking forward to hear that one , this bs we can just put away for now...

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  36. JOELL ORTIZ said "rhymes/rhyme structure are fucking insane" "yea alot of subjects are recyclled on this album"

    LOL,Em does not get a pass for rapping about the same shit eight years later. And So what if the rhymes are "fucking insane"? Same subject matter different/mediocre beat. And ironically the definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yeah in that case Eminem is in fact insane.

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  37. IF RELAPSE 2 IS ABOUT EMINEM GETTING OFF THE DRUGS AGAIN THEN THIS ALBUM MAKES TOTAL SENSE .. IN THAT ITS INSANE . AND HE ACTUALLY SACRIFICED AN ALBUM TO TELL THE STORY AND MAKE THE CONCEPT WORK . IF THATS THE CASE THEN THAT COULD COULD POSSIBLY BE ONE OF THE MOST INGENIOUS CONCEPTS EVER FOR A MAINSTREAM RELEASE

    CJ STAN

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  38. lol that definitely was not Joell Ortiz. but he's right. the best songs on the album were the last three: deja vu, beautiful and underground. whoever came up with the order of the album is a fucking idiot because the best track come up at the end. i do agree with the reviews of the songs you did listen to though

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  39. The fact that you didn't finish the album makes your review irrelevant; especially considering the fact that this was a concept album and some of the best tracks are at the end of the album (don't believe me? See the Rolling Stone review). It's like when Peter Griffin didn't finish the Godfather on Family Guy and said he didn't like it.

    That's right, I'm comparing you to Peter Griffin...and he's mentally retarded.

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  40. Take your review down. You cannot review something you haven't finished. I can't believe you dared to step to Joell having not even finished the review. You are not a hater. In this one particular instance however, you are fucking incompetent. I think you are a dope blogger but that makes this even worse. This is a disgrace.

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  41. Also stop reviewing albums after one (or half a) listen. That isn't working out to well now is it.

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  42. "Frankenstein said" bla bla said eminem was good like lil wayne and tupac aha wtf homeboy blah blah

    1 Dont put lil waynes name next to 2pacs pac is a legend lil wayne is a candy ass pop rapper 2 dont compare lil wayne 2 em either em would eat wayne alive lyrically period. so leave it alone you sound foolish.

    p.s people I checked out that 125grams part 6 joint and dude was crazy nice on that track wow

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  43. I gotta say I agreed with most of your review, but after having over a week to get into it, I have a different take on Relapse:

    http://thenewclassic.wordpress.com/2009/05/17/album-review-eminem-relapse/

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  44. Who the fuck is Tek? (comment May 7th) Motherfucker needs to go fuck himself with a lubricated horse cock. And what the fuck with calling yourself Tek anyway? That supposed to be some fucking gun reference? Get back to the bus station sucking cock for crack fuck face.

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