Sunday, May 31, 2009

June FTW!

I've been running that a lot recently. For The Win! That phrase is dope. Just saying it, blogging here or letting it fly on Twitter makes me feel good. Feeling good is important. Essential even. It's good for me. You too. June is here peoples, does that make you feel good? I dig when the start of a new month arrives. Trying to face each 1st day as a starting point. Reinvigorate my determinations, my goals, my energies. Use those annual 12 dates to evaluate how I did between now and the one from last month, how much I accomplished or how far back I backslid fighting this round of life. Or not fighting, just showing up, ducking from the blows, blocking some, catching major ones too, a right to the jaw, a knockout punch landing solidly to the left temple. Lights out, bright blinking lights on and off. Waking up in confusion after the fight's over and wondering what happened between the moment I stepped into the ring and now. And if I fell off, on or around what day of the month was it? Just so I can better peep what my thoughts, words, deeds were then and are this time around. See what adjustments need to be made so the steps I took to ensure my fall off last month won't be repeated this go round. Knowing too, that if I fall off again in the future, which will most definitely happen, that I won't be down on myself. Get up, re-lace the gloves, and start swinging. For The Win.

Cause and effect is strict. Hard body too. It don't care as to why you did certain things, what the intentions were, just what ripples were put in motion based solely on your acts. The big ones, and the small ones. The big causes we make are easy to see, because they're big. The smaller ones are the ones that get you though, the ones close to impossible to spot. Impossible to spot but so easy to do. Habitually. Tens to hundreds to millions of times even. Eventually, billions of tiny acts manifesting into big ones. Splashing, creating ripples across the universe, major waves too. And eventually, like clockwork, we get back all that we put out, a universal law like gravity. What goes up, must come down. What goes out, must come back.

They say our actions are caused by our thoughts. Thoughts that turn into words. Words that turn into deeds. That being the case, our thoughts bring us to where we are. Thoughts bring into our reality what we think. And how many thoughts do we have, per moment, per millisecond, constantly determining what we say, what we do? You ever try to keep track of all of your thoughts? All of them and all the time? Better yet, you ever try to control your thoughts? Think about it. Think about it hard enough and you might get scared in realizing how much our brains, our minds that are like little computers, are so much in control...over us, and the control we have over our minds, not so much. Our thoughts are nothing but electrical currents. The greatest conductor of electricity is water. Isn't the human body made up of 75%, 80% water. Better yet, isn't Earth composed primarily of water? Isn't the Universe made up primarily of water? Think about it.

Thoughts, words, deeds. Words are powerful. Words are becoming much more powerful by the moment now that technology has afforded each and every one of us the ability to connect to so many others, instantly, globally, electronically, though the power of the Internets. It astounds me when I take in the fact that based on a thought, any random or recurring one, at any moment can manifest into the deed of writing and shooting something off into the blogosphere where it becomes ingested into our collective consciousness, not knowing how many tens of hundreds of millions of effects will be caused, domino knocking into domino, endlessly across the universe. Who could have predicted that the advent of the Internet, an invention created by cold technology, would usher in the advanced evolution of man's thought power? The ability to virtually touch and effect any and everyone jacked into this matrix of life. And at the touch of a button. We're evolving right before our eyes. We are so far ahead of ourselves that we're actually behind. I think that in the next 100 years, our heads will expand, like how those aliens from outer space look. It almost has to, what with all this information we mentally ingest, process, store away, until we're ready to use said information in any manner we choose.

Bad thoughts always seem to come easy. The pace of our daily lives in this new age of thought power almost require that we think bad of things. We're wired like that, a negative energy creating being always ready to shit on any thought, word, deed and in turn any possible positive outcome that seems too good to ever become true. Someone once told me that in a given setting, you can receive 100 heartfelt compliments and one complaint. And when you sit down to reflect on the events of that setting, the one that will ring most loudly is the negative one.

So then we do the dance, where we eff up, or let our minds trick us into thinking we did bad, we fell off, to the point that we start to beat ourselves up, dirty little thoughts creeping in, and about how we might not be good enough, will never be good enough, won't ever accomplish this, that or the third. Worse yet, we slander ourselves with the one thing I truly believe to be a sin, self guilt. Allowing those little thoughts of guilt and doubt to creep in, until we eventually become what our thoughts created. To those that claim you have no idea what I'm talking about I call bullshit. That "I'm always on, never could fall off" parlay is certified grade A industry talk. Game talk. I know too well and intimately that kind of talk. Especially when it's show time. There's nothing wrong with game talk, just don't delude yourself into believing your own hype. You're just setting yourselves up for a bigger fall down the road, one you might not be able to bounce back from.

Where am I going with this space aged type rant? Dunno. What I do know is that recently, two of my peoples very close to me have been diagnosed with Cancer. The disease. Two different healthy and VERY accomplished successful men that I've been fortunate to have in my life. One even, who never ever drank or smoked anything in his life, who played mentor to me throughout the years, ensuring that, based on his past experiences and his continued guidances, that I would always land on my feet, be back in the game, and for the win. He taught me that in this game of entertainment, one has to work double, triple, quadruple overtime to create the hype in one's name, in one's product, in one's brand. Then one has to work way harder to avoid falling into the trap of actually believing the hype they created, because once one believes their own hype, it's guaranteed game over. I've seen first hand many people in the industy eff that lesson up. I've dropped the ball with that one myself. The other one, a man so damned successful, with a beautiful wife, and stripes upon stripes of of victorious business ventures behind him, and both now facing this new kind of obstacle, looking at it face to face, eye to eye, and each wondering to themselves, "What the fuck way can I knock this bitch of an opponent out?" And me going in, deep and asking myself, "what the fuck do I do to support them, to pay back whatever lessons and opportunities they blessed me with, and without a trace of pity?" Or, "who am I to even think I can help them in any way since I've never had to deal with anything as serious as this?" Those little negative thoughts creeping back in, limiting my ability to dig deep into the universal collective that we all share for an answer, a solution.

The greatest trick we've managed to pull on ourselves is creating the illusion of scarcity, of division, of separatness, of us vs them. Of good vs. evil. You do know the universe is anything but scarce though? Far from that, the universe is abundant. You do know too that we're not separate at all, not divided one bit. We're as separate from each other and the universe as an individual wave is separate from the ocean. Also too, that each and every one of us and at any given moment, has the potential for great good as well as great evil. And as long as we are alive as a species, the most important battle that we will face on a daily basis until either we cook ourselves up with them nukes we keep building and in storage, or until the sun burns out is that inherent battle between our innate negative selves and our higher enlightened selves. And through practice, although seemingly impossible, but if committed, we can control our thoughts, if we so commit ourselves to observe how we think and moment by moment. That's a lot of effin effort. But it is possible.

Placing myself in a situation where my thoughts reach many, I want to do my best moment to moment, use this mighty tool of technology to create value in any way I can, so that it resonates positively to those my words reach, and hopefully resonates back with equal positive value. Trust, I'm not on some preachy, holier than thou vibe, I'm not that goody conscious knicca either. It's easier to sit here and type shit that will result in throwing folk under the bus, you've seen it, I've done it before, might very well do it again. And again. Especially with this thing called Hip Hop. Trust how I felt like clowning on that Eminem/ Bruno thingie from the MTV Movie Awards. But I also want to become that more aware, able to take full responsibility for all of the unseen and tangible actions and the causes I make. Become that dude that eventually becomes so fully aware that my thoughts and words and deeds create that kind of value that can be an endless source of comfort, encouragement and inspiration for myself and for my peoples, effecting us all to dig deep into our universal reservoirs, to find within ourselves that which will ensure complete victory over the destructive threats of things like Cancer that lay ready to rip viciously through our bodies until there's nothing left for us to justify our existence on this plane. In the here and now.

June 1st is here peoples, a wonderful time of the year for self reflection, for re-determination, for rejuvenation. So sorry if this is not the type of stuff that brings you here, I can zone out like that. But I truly do respect you all, your humanity and all the individual scenarios that play out in your individual lives. And I truly want each and every one of you to take a step back, truly appreciate all that you are, all that you've accomplished, and most importantly, all that you want to be. Let's get out of the way of our success, out the way of our health and happiness. Life is a truly incredible blessing, even when that cotdamned rent is due, and each and every one of us are more than capable of becoming our best self's ever. I'm learning more and more to appreciate and to love every moment of life, and every instance of connect that I make with each and everybody that I come across during my time here. In person, or electronically, through the blog, email or Twitter. June is here my peoples. Let's go effin hard this month, harder than we did the month before. Let's do this month big, and most definitely For The Win!!!

Please note, I did not drop any types of hallucinogenic drugs such as ecstacy and what not during the writing of this post. Just sharing what I feel.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.


  1. FTW!!!

  2. god damn. those words have weight. i'll have to re-read that again

  3. Real words indeed...

  4. I read this last night, didn't get around to commenting until today. But props on the words and letting in flow... I'll have to get my weight up even more this June... I shall holler at you in a few CJ.

  5. I didnt know what FTW and FTL meant until I was on NR. June 2008 I made more money that month than I made all last year. Im going to stay positive and go hard again this year. We can all motivate and inspire each other to greatness. This will be my last June on the bottom Im getting on top and staying on top,FTW.

  6. FTW CJ Your words were very inspirational and appreciated.

  7. Funny story.
    I'm in the library yesterday and out of nowhere I got the idea to search for your "Bling" book, and ironically a certain branch in my library had it.
    So, I put that shit on request, and I can only hope it's as good a read as Daily Mathematics.

  8. Great Inspiration Brother!!!

  9. *daps the team*

  10. i love your posts, 'COMBAT JACK'; especially, your industry stories.

    i've tried to connect with you; sent you a couple of e-mails. anyway, keep it movin'.

    BRIXTON, south LONDON i'm alwayz reppin'.


  11. u should do shrooms


    If you haven't read "The Science of Mind" by Earnest Holmes I highly recommend it. I'm still in the process of reading it myself but he covers a lot of the themes you've touched on in this post. Great read btw!

    This is a link to the Amazon reviews. They'll give you more insight on the contents of the book. The copy they are selling is not the real 600+ page tome (as a lot of the reviewers point out) but there is a lot of comments from users who've read the official version that I posted the above link to.

  13. brilliant post - keep up the good work - props from the uk.

  14. Funny that I discover this post last night, just in time for July. You are the BEST!!!