Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Those Whacky Japanese!

I am so amped this week. The video game, Resident Evil 5 drops on Friday. I fucks with video games heavy. Started exactly 12 years ago. Wife was pregnant with our first child and I knew I was gonna have to spend some time at home. I copped the then brand new Play Station gaming console. I also copped the games Tekken, Tomb Raider and Resident Evil (the first). Can you say crack? Play Station had taken gaming to a whole new level, better playability, incredible immersive 3-D type graphics. Haven't been able to put the joy sticks down ever since. [||].

Getting back to Resident Evil 5. Did you know this title is supposedly the most controversial of the series? Apparently, this game takes place in some town in Africa. This village gets infected by some virus thingie and eventually becomes overrun by zombie like villagers hungry for blood. The hero/main character, a white chap by the name of Chris Redfield is dropped into the village, just in time to save the day. The main complaint received, based on previews, are the images of white blasting reckless on nothing but Black. According to the Wall Street Journal, "Critics contended that the imagery of a white man shooting black Africans evoked troubling memories of the age of Western colonialism." I do have a problem with the video game industry being almost exclusively white, except for a smattering of Asians here and there. I'll also admit that the previews I've seen so far look mad effin racist, but as an addicted gamer, until I actually play the game, I'll defer to the developers that argue that it's not at all racist since the game does take place in Africa. I'll see, still, the Resident Evil brand of late has released incredible games to the point that even if RE5 does prove in my eyes to be racist, I will most likely eat that, bitching and moaning as I enjoy blasting those Black African bastards back to the stone age. I'll live, especially since I survived playing racist ass games before.

Have you heard about "RapeLay"? It is, literally, a Japanese "rape simulator" game. I hear its all the rave in Japan. The premise is that you play a Japanese fellow who was wrongly accused of raping a woman. The game begins right after you (and your rectum) [||] get released from jail. Once free, you set about to exact revenge on your accuser and her two virgin daughters, one looking almost as young as 10 years old. The method of revenge: rape. WTF? I know, sounds like big fun, right? You stalk your prey on a subway platform or in a park and follow her until your 'horny" meter kicks in and she reaches various secluded areas where you then attempt to wreck shop. I even read that you score extra points based on your method of attack. Strangling her whilst she chokes on the kielbasa? Extra pointage. Knocking teeth from her mouth as you pound her bloodied unconscious ass from the ass? Extra pointage. I even hear that you get disqualified for causing any of your victims to get pregnant. Shits and giggles for real. Sex based games aren't new to the Japs, said games even having their own genre called "eroge", or erotic games. Just that this latest one takes the cake. What's sad is that some wierdos over here put in mad orders for RapeLay on, so much so that Amazon had to place a ban on said orders. My problem with RapeLay is not only does that shit sound extra sick as fuck, it's that it don't even sound like that much fun to play. I think I'll pass on this one.

If I was a Jap developer, I'd come up with a new game called "Protect Your Holes". Get the RZA to do the score and soundtrack even. The premise would start off similar to RapeLay in that, as the main character by the name of "Short Eyes", you'd get falsely accused and wrongly imprisoned for raping someone. Difference would be that the game would take place wholly behind bars, where characters with names like "Chicken Hawk", "El Plunger", "Hold 'Em Down Harry" and "Vicious Love" would be solely intent on introducing your character to the violent and lovely world of jail sex. Imagine having escaped the "tossed salad" trap only to find your character trapped and surrounded in the showers by 6 naked horned up Latin Kings eager to tear into some fresh young back meats, all the while ready to knock out your front teeths for easy access? Fun by the boatloads. [||] of course to this entire post.

So until ActiVision or CapCom starts developing "Protect Your Holes", I'ma be holed up here in Brooklyn, safely playing white blasting legions of infected Black with the shottie or the AK on Resident Evil 5. I'm a man of principles.


  1. That rape game sounds crazy and Im sure over here if you order it the fed ex man will be accompanied by dateline nbc and the local cops. They have teenage girls panties in vending machines over there so that game doesnt sound that crazy for them.

    If a woman lies and gets you put in jail you would want to rape or kill her when you get out but unless you enjoyed getting raped and beaten up in prison why would you go anywhere near that slore. The only explanation would be if you killed yourself after you got revenge on her because you didnt want to go back to jail.

  2. ^ "That rape game sounds crazy and Im sure over here if you order it the fed ex man will be accompanied by dateline nbc and the local cops."

    Lol and co-sign.

  3. Most recently, UNCHARTED had white steady blasting nigros.
    The Japanese had this crazy ass (no pun) prop arcade video game called Boonga Boonga: where the object of the game was to jam a pole into your opponent's rectum [||] as hard as you could. Sick shit.

  4. Um. The Japs are twisted units. I only ever play sports games and only when I'm zooted. Otherwise I'm shite.

    Props on the blog Jack. Has joined my blogs to check list along with nahright. Esteemed company indeed.

  5. Think about how the Japanese had cats signing up for pilot school to be trained how to read all the instruments on an airplane to fly that shit into a building or some shit.

    The rape game would be dope if it was about the character raping anyone and everything with anything. Like you get points for running through a neighbor's cat with the end of a garden tool. More points of course for raping a doberman pinscher or a gotdamn rottweiler.

    It's hard to tell if it is rape though on a video game. For all we know those pixelated avatars could be freaks of the week.

    [ll] to this drop and the subsequent comments thread

  6. remember all that Japan panic shit in the 80's? this is pretty much the same in my eyes, its a different culture. Im not saying rape games are ok anywhere, but Japan has such a massive history of institutionalised bad attitudes to women that its not surprising a game like this exists, hell their pron is mostly pretty messed up. Anyway not taking issue with the opinions of the game, i agree, but "those wacky Japanese" isnt helping anyone and is ultimately propagating a stereotype, which im sure everyone here will agree is bad...less its ok to do that about Asians now. Maybe we should all move to China where rape all but doesnt exist...Cos rapists get shot...immediately...

  7. You's a fool for this one CJ... Hilarity all around and you never go wrong with a Fleece Johnson clip.

    "Booty is worth more than food"...

    Of course DP takes it futuristic where no hole is safe. Can an uncapped fire hydrant get it also in that game? More points if its on and kids are in the street playing in the water?

  8. See, I can't hate on Yellow for their choice in games and content. That island was isolated (purposely) for a couple of thousand years and Japan grew up in the world like an only child whose folks did lots of coke and went to key parties.

    They come up and their sexual preferences are all out of whack with everyone else they're meeting at college. Shits crowded there, so videos of girls being groped/raped on the subway are hot.

    Girls are told to hold off and be chaste, so they go out and make movies where they get kakkee'd sitting in a giant martini glass.

    Let's not even get into their friends' (us) frustration about not being able to hit the sideways tang, so they act like dicks and pixel out the spot. Though a thanks since those girls are haaaaairy.

    All in all, nullus to everything in Japan and hit me up when the Sims come out with a Trailer Park or Project version.

  9. As someone well versed in the art of Japanese porn, I can tell you that this ain't nothing!

  10. Thanks for that "Toss my Salad" clip. It's lunchtime in the UK and there's me looking to get my healthy living on in time for those rare rays of summer that will come our way, in June. Before I take a bite of my lunch (which is, yes, you've guessed it, salad!) I click on Combat Jack for a read of RE5 which I may purchase. Yes it's all my fault but still!!

  11. Nice post! I actually just released a book on sex in video games called "Porn & Pong: How Grand Theft Auto, Tomb Raider and Other Sexy Games Changed Our Culture" at The Japanese games are crazy, but our video game history here in America is damn equal in insanity!

  12. ^ Thanx homie, great site as well.