Sunday, February 8, 2009

Chris Brown Put A Shiner On Her

"Joint's burnin so bad, right after this here function, I'ma put this effin phone up on that big ass forehead, biyatch!!!!!"

So I'm sure most of ya'll heard about the alleged smack down Chris Brown put on Rihanna this weekend. Reports are that lil "Ri Ri's" face was so tendered upon that she was unable to perform at this year's Grammy Awards Show, what with her having a big ole black eye. And loose teeth. For the record, I do not condone any man putting his shoe on a woman, unless off course if she gave him the claps and such. However Mr. Brown must get his just propers. What with the deterioration of Black music these days, it seemed like the R&B artform was most definitely headed the way of the dinosaur. I mean, it's been a while since we've seen the likes of Ike Turner, James Brown, or Marvin Gaye maintaining tradition by laying down the law with their women folk. Shit, even K-Ci of Jodeci fame knew it was his duty to make Mary J. Blige a better singer by giving her a lil love tap here and there, you know, make her feel closer to all that pain and heartache she be sanging about. K-Ci's the reason Mary's "My Life" will go down as her greatest album evar.

Singing songs about love and the highs and lows of relationships requires that the singer have an intimate connection with the subject matter. Anyone that's ever been in love knows that once that initial euphoric ecstatic feeling dies down, the pain of heartache is some somber, gloomy unbearable shit, shit so heavy it makes the bearer wanna do something crazy like slitting their wrists in a warmly poured bath, or ranting silly jibberish out loud to the world about how they were effd the eff up in their last encounter with cupid. Just listen to Kanye West's latest "808's and Heartbreak" and you'll see how twisted he got by love and his last chick. Better yet, check out how he's taken to wearing that god awful shag afro and traipsing all to and fro with his new gay buddies. That looks like some real after heartbreak shit right there.

Surviving the hell of heartbreak makes one more complete. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Chris Brown knows this, and knows that there's no way any future diva can ever thrive without having true pain and heartache in their lives. With all this pain, both emotional as well as physical, in addition to having to live through the rumors swirling about with her passing on herpes to Mr. Brown, that time tested gift that keeps on giving, I'm betting dollars to donuts that we'll be hearing Rihanna singing some real incredible shit in the near future. No more "Umbrella" pop tart stuff from her. A coupla more cuffs and bruises from C-Breezy, looks like we have a future queen of R&B on the horizon. Soul even. She'd better not press charges and hold on real tight to that man though, that's if she knows what's good for her career.

UPDATE: Word is C. Breezy put some bite marks on girl, just for added emphasis. Go 'head young playa!


  1. i'm sure there was a good explanation for all this, like cocaine.

  2. Im amazed (but not at all surprised) that how in a few short weeks that picture has become the definitve image for when you need to express how entirely gay something really is.

  3. traipsing to and fro with his new gay buddies.... no shots of course....

  4. Sources confirm there was an umbrella in the car at the time.