Combat Jack With Today's Mathematics

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So last Spring, wifey and I went to a party with our friends Dave and Karen. Both are white, and we went to an Obama fundraiser house party thingie in Park Slope. I was the only Black man there. Go figure. Anyways, Dave, who works in film, was telling me about one of his co-workers who was directing his first lil indie flick. There's a scene in the flick where one of the actors, in an attempt to escape something, is supposed to jump off a garage roof that's like 20-25 feet from the ground. During the filming of that scene, the actor took one look off the platform and was like "eff that dude, I'm an actor, not no stuntman." Geeked about the project and determined to motivate his actor to actually go through with the stunt, the director, who was like 20 years old, decided he would demonstrate how the actor should do it, you know, walk the walk. So director dude gets to the top of the platform, jumps, lands and effin completely SHATTERS both of his heel bones into millions of tiny little pieces!

Doctor says it will about be a year and a half before dude can walk again. How in the eff does one even put together a shattered heel, let alone two? Funny shit is when Dave was describing to me how dude looks when he's rolling through the office in his wheel chair, legs sticking straight the eff out. Or when it rains or snows, and dude's chair is blue tarped out, just to keep his shit dry and looking like a grade A dick. [||].

A coupla weeks ago, Dave emails me a youtube clip of this event, just cause the camera crew was on point like that. It's short, and if you turn the volume up you can hear the director's heels exploding into teeny tiny particles of magic pixie dust.

Ouch and lol!